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Archive for the ‘Fine Lines’ Category

Cause and Effect

It is rather humbling and occasionally humiliating to realize how many problems I have caused myself. At this middle-aged point of life, I can also see that the simple daily actions of taking responsibility for myself have also led to wonderful things. Things like eating and drinking the right things most of the time usually leads to good health. Paying bills on time, getting an education by sacrificing other things, putting money away every week…..these things make for a better life in the physical realm. Usually.

Life has also taught me that what I’ve written above is true on one level but the illusion of cause and effect being a way to control life is just that: an illusion. We can better our odds but there are no guarantees. We can however control our attitudes. Buddha (which literally means “I am awake”) first two Noble Truths go something like this: 1) Life is out of whack and it’s easier when we realize this fact. 2) The reason life is out of whack is because of our individual selfish desires. He, of course, goes on to provide hope through changing attitudes and behaviors.

For myself, I have found that I suffer most when I expect other people to be different that they really are. Even after all these years, I somehow expect people to be better than they are. I expect those in power to be trust-worthy and to do what is best for the whole. How naive is that??? I expect that when I do the right thing for other people that they will do the right thing for me. Doesn’t always happen and I become so disappointed. I remember a octogenarian once telling me, “People are rotten to the core, myself included. I wish I had your optimism about people but I don’t. And if God accepts me when I die, it will be purely by grace.” I thought the world of this man and found him kind, thoughtful and loving. But I think he knew something about human nature that I’d rather not see.

Buddha also talked about the importance of the people one chooses to be with. Jesus chose to be with the people who knew they were sinners and wanted to be more. Good advice.

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This world is so confusing. I try to understand why cartoons in one country cause people in another to react with violence. I wonder if it really has anything to do with genuine faith or if it is primarily a political act of aggression. I have read and researched, talked and listened, been respectful and inquiring of the Islamic faiths (there are many forms of it just as there are of every religion). I have grown in my respect for many of these forms but also am dismayed and fearful of others. This is very disturbing to me.
At the same time, there is the news about prison riots here in the USA. The riots are racially based. Interviews with inmates reveal that if they don’t act with hatred and violence toward those of another race, they will be punished by those of their own race. Seems to me like a microcosm of the world-wide violence. Perhaps the same sort of pressures apply to those of Muslim faith who are currently rioting.
One of the most helpful courses I studied in college concerned large social movements. 35 years later, I still remember the central point of the course: human beings are so malleable that in large groups individuals will do horrific acts in total contrast to their stated beliefs. I haven’t been put in that position as far as I know. I pray I would be more like Deitrich Bonhoeffer or Mahatma Ghandi but I fear I might be more like Peter during the trial of Jesus and try to just blend into the background or run away.
I wonder if this is why I tend to be suspicious of any large group event. I watched the Super Bowl to see the commercials but I can’t imagine getting all excited about any sports team. Perhaps I’m just ornery and don’t want to be one of the crowd. I’m suspicious of mega-churches for the same reasons. They remind me of rock concerts and hero worship. Basically, if everyone is doing something, I think there must be something wrong with it. Makes living in this world a little challenging. But then, it seems that’s largely the point of Christ’s teaching – we are made in God’s image and all of life is a struggle to fulfill that promise. The crowds won’t show us the way.

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Bono’s sermon

With thanks to Sojourners Magazine this is a transcript of a speech made to the National Prayer Breakfast by the rock star, Bono:

If you’re wondering what I’m doing here, at a prayer breakfast, well, so am I. I’m certainly not here as a man of the cloth, unless that cloth is leather. It’s certainly not because I’m a rock star. Which leaves one possible explanation: I’m here because I’ve got a messianic complex.

Yes, it’s true. And for anyone who knows me, it’s hardly a revelation.

(more…)

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Why I do this

I was recently asked “What are you trying to accomplish?” concerning all my research and reading about other religions and spiritual quests. My answer was quick: Jesus said the way to eternal life is this:

“Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”
He said to him, “What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?” So he answered and said, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’* and ‘your neighbor as yourself.'” And He said to him, “You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.” Luke 10:25-28

I love myself by respecting my person, by facing my demons, accepting my limitations, understanding how and why I think and act the way I do, being radically honest with myself and taking 100% responsibility for my life. And so, when I try to live out loving my neighbor as myself, I seek first to understand.

I have found that the more I learn about the foundations of other faiths, the more I see the Oneness of God throughout time and culture. The more I look at the relgious institutions that come from those origins, the more alike in arrogance and error they seem. I do not believe that all paths lead to God – only paths that lead to God, lead to God. For me that means following the teaching of Jesus quoted above. It has nothing to do with deciding who is going to hell and who isn’t.

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Fear

Fear is the main source of superstition,
and one of the main sources of cruelty.
To conquer fear is the beginning of
wisdom. -Bertrand Russell, 1872-1970

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In my sorting through old papers, I came across this reflection I had written 20 years ago randomly tucked in a folder of bits and peices:

“Prayer has always been a mystery to me. My first memories of prayer (other than Grace said before meals) are my early grade school prayers of confession which I deemed necessary for assurance of salvation. At eight, I was taught such theological truths as eternal security and salvation by grace alone. Although relieved of my burden of laborious confessions, I began to wonder what the point of it all was.
For awhile, it was enough to know that Jesus prayed and therefore so should I. But soon I began to wonder anew, why did he bother? Some mystical soul pointed out to me that the book of Revelations describes the prayers of the saints as incense offered to God, as something which delights and pleases him. That’s a beautiful thought to me but I don’t really understand it.
(more…)

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In preparation for a move in March, I’ve been sorting through old papers – things I’ve moved around the past three moves without even thinking about it. 26 garbage bags and two trips to the Salvation Army later, I feel much lighter. There’s something both cathartic and affirming about it all. As I read through things I’ve written, bills I’ve paid, notes of encouragement, little post-it notes from my children reminding me to do something a decade or more ago, I remember the many lessons over these past two decades and find I have learned many of them in spite of myself. Here’s what I think I’ve learned imperfectly but deeply:

1) Trust in God always no matter how horrific life may look.
2) Be a blessing in whatever circumstance life has brought – we are created to be a blessing to others.
3) Say no firmly and repeatedly to anyone who tries to destroy your person.
4) Treat yourself and your life as a gift to unwrap rather than as a thing to endure.
5) Be grateful for the forgiveness of others when you fail them and pass on that forgivness to anyone who has failed you.
6) Never be ashamed of love even if you have loved someone or something that was not worthy of that love. Love is never wasted.
7) Trust that God is placing all around you invisible forms of support to bring you home to God’s heart.
8) Hold on to true friendship but let go of those that fall away from you naturally.
9) Anxiety and depression aren’t necessarily things to avoid. They often are flags to alert you to something you know unconciously but don’t want to see.
10) Believe in your own worth and face your own weaknesses with love.

I’ll probably want to add to this list or modify it over time. But here it is for now.

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Abraham

I just finished reading Abraham subtitled A Journey to the Heart of Three Faiths . The author, Bruce Feiler, takes a physical, spiritual and emotional journey to the heart of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. And what in incredible journey. If you want to gain an understanding of that which all three religions hold in common as well as how that very commonality has led to violence, I highly recommend this book.
The very first book of the Old Testament, Genesis, has always held fascination for me. The stories of each patriarch and matriarch are so universally profound, warts and all. None of them comes across as holy or particularly intelligent. The lessons they have to teach us are about both our humanity and our longing for the Divine at our very center. Here’s a quote from the book, quoting Sheikh Abdul Rauf describing becoming “Abrahamic:”

“First, complete devotion to God, even if it involves leaving your family and leaving your town. On another level, making our own contractual agreement with God. Each of us has a covenant to make with God, ‘ I will worship you as my God and you will take care of me’
And finally, knowing yourself on the deepest level. The prime objective of religion is to know God, but the only way to do that is to discover God within our own conciousness. This happened to Abraham, and it can happen to us. And anybody that happens to will choose to life a life in accordance with God’s practice.”

The oldest of the three monotheistic religions is Judaism, with Christianity developing 2000 years ago and Islam only 1500 years ago being a relative newcomer. It had not occured to me in the reading of the Old Testament, that neither Moses or David refer to Abraham. Nor had I remembered, though I am sure I learned this in seminary, that the first five books of the Bible, the central scripture to the Hebrew faith, was not written down until the 3rd centruy BC (or BCE to be more inclusive). The hope of the book is that all three religions can find a way to respect one another through a more complete understanding of our common ancestral father Abraham. I’m not so sure of that but this book has certainly taught me much.
I find it a bit unsettling as well as comforting that out of the whole of this book, it is the quote above with which I most agree. I believe it is only through discovering God within our own conciousness that we will find our commonality and in that I am in agreement with a Sheikh. That is what unsettles my prejudices as well as comforts me with hope.

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From the New Zealand Prayer Book, this interpretation of the Lord’s Prayer holds universal meaning:

Eternal Spirit, Earth-maker, Pain-bearer, Life-giver,
Source of all that is and that shall be,
Father and Mother of us all, Loving God, in whom is heaven:
The hallowing of your name echo through the universe!
The way of your justice be followed by the peoples of the world!
Your heavenly will be done by all created beings!
Your commonwealth of peace and freedom sustain our hope and come on earth.
With the bread we need for today, feed us.
In the hurts we absorb from on another, forgive us.
In times of temptation and test, strengthen us.
From trials too great to endure, spare us.
From the grip of all that is evil, free us.
For you reign in the glory of the power that is love, now and forever.
Amen.

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Demanding Heaven

I’ve been reading two books with seemingly opposite points of view. The first, If Grace Is True: Why God Will Save Every Person is a short some what rambling description of two Quaker pastor’s journeys into embracing universal grace. The second, Facing East: A Pilgrims Journey into the Mysteries of Orthodoxy by Frederica Matthewes-Green is a year, a liturgical year in the life of a convert to Eastern Orthodoxy. These are excerpts from each – the first a vision of heaven; the second a description of beginning such heaven on earth.

“This work of reconciliation must continue until every last person is redeemed. I do not know where we will sit at the final banquet, but I suspect who will sit beside us. On our right will sit the person whom we have harmed the most. On our left will sit the person who has done the greatest evil to us. We will be seated between grace received and grace required.” If Grace Is True p. 190

“Now we are going to do something the devil hates,” he says. “any time brothers and sisters in Christ stand face-to-face and ask one another’s forgiveness and give forgiveness, the demons shudder….” He gives directions for all worshippers to form a long line, extending to his left; they move into place…”The first person in line…will stand in front of me. He’ll make prostration or a metania and ask for my forgiveness. …you can say this however you want: ‘Forgive me for all my sins against you’…I will offer forgiveness and then ask him to forgive me as well”

This description continues in such a way that every person in that gathered church recieves and gives forgiveness to every other person.

“Each interchange is an intimate moment, and I feel on the wobbly border between embarrassment, laughter and tears. Just to pause and look at each fellow worshiper for a momment, to see the individual there, is itself a startling exercise.” Facing East p. 19-20

I don’t believe in eternal damnation in the sense of hell-fires to which God condemns anyone who doesn’t quite get the forgiveness of Christ. I actually agree with the premise of Philip Gulley and James Mulholland in describing the vast and unlimited love of God for all of creation. However, I struggle with this. There are clearly consequences for our actions or lack thereof. And this life certainly is connected with the life after this one – the eternal timelessness. I think it has to do with who or what is God to us. I like C.S. Lewis view of this in The Great Divorce described well by the Jolly Blogger:

“The best way I can describe this book is to say that it is an allegorical study of the psychology of the hell-bound vs the psychology of the heaven-bound.”

I keep reading about Eastern Orthodox worship and practice. I’ve even attended one Sunday service. It seems to be a way to live heaven on earth. Heaven is experienced here and now and Heaven is a demanding place as well as a lucious celebration of love and grace. Except for one thing – patriarchy reigns. God is decidedly male and culturally bound to medieval times from what I can see.

And so I continue to seek heaven on earth and to live in ways that testify to this. Living out God’s grace is not a foo-foo thing to do. It’s demanding, much more demanding than hell.

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