thesoulpurposedotorg

I suppose it is weird to consider Maundy Thursday to be my favorite holiday but there it is. This is a day of contemplation, the moment before life falls apart but we somehow know that life is going to change and we don’t like it. We can’t see beyond to the chaos, the suffering, the gore that is to come but in our bones we just know something awful is about to happen. But not yet. For today we rest our head on Jesus broad and strong chest, knowing he loves us, that he calls us friend and sister or brother, tenderly caring for us, feeding us bread and wine. He doesn’t pat our back and say “everything is going to be okay” because in fact we are about to screw up royally. Our fear will overcome our resolve and we will run when we should stay.
Today reminds me of those times in my life when for all my good intentions, I got something all wrong and even betrayed someone or some value I deeply loved. So why is this my favorite holiday? I’m not entirely sure. Perhaps because my past often haunts my dreams and I want a do-over. Perhaps it’s the picture of those hapless disciples as Jesus washes their feet, tenderness his last act. I just know this day is one with which I am way too familiar. Remembering while knowing that resurrection and restoration will come. In the meantime, it is okay to just be honest in the company of my sisters and brothers knowing I am often a total mess masquerading as bravery and confidence. And God loves even that.