“What is therapy and why do people seek it?” asks A.G.S.
I’ve become a bit cynical and jaded about this question. On a personal level, I spent a total of 20 years in one form of psychotherapy or another. When I was a pastor and a chaplain, I found it a necessary tool to keep myself honest in facing my own limitations and tendency to codependency. As far as actually growing and changing in the process, I have to honestly say that only happened when it was just too painful to not change. On one hand, there is this desire within us to grow and improve. But there is also the inherent sin of laziness. Author and psychotherapist M. Scott Peck calls this “original sin.”
And yet I have changed and grown and come to a place of eternal joy. I’m sure the therapy I participated in over the years is due some credit for positive change but the lion’s share has come for practicing the presence of God.
I’ve kept a journal off and on for most of my life. One entry from my adolescence observed: “The more I try to change something about myself, the worse that thing gets.†The corollary to this is the spiritual truth: “What we focus on grows.†I think this is why most psychotherapy doesn’t work. Gerald May in the book Addiction and Grace is wonderfully helpful in understanding the brain chemistry that makes this so.
Nearly 2000 years ago, the Apostle Paul lamented about this in the seventh chapter of the book of Romans and his answer to this dilemma in chapter eight has proven true for me: “Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!… The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace…the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.â€
Let me give a practical example of how this is done. It is important to have a space somewhere in your home that is your personal sanctuary in which you pray and meditate. It is helpful to have some sort of altar in this space with things on it that symbolize your experience of God. (For me this is an old family Bible, three candles to represent the Trinity, a carving of the Holy Family from Jerusalem, a cross and a number of pictures.) Such a space helps to create new neurological patterns that bring to your mind and body an accumulation of Spirit-based experiences. Spend at least 15 minutes a day in this space. If this is not possible, begin with five minutes. Begin this time by deeply breathing in God’s presence and exhaling your worries. Do this three times. Then recite the Lord’s Prayer Follow this by just sitting in silence knowing that you are surrounded inside and out with God’s loving presence. As concerns or fears or distractions come to your mind, silently pray “Lord Jesus Christ, Have Mercy.†(aka The Jesus Prayer or the Prayer of the Heart) Again breath in God’s grace and breath out your distractions. As you practice this, over time you will sense a deep peace. Through out your day, when faced with your own limitations, just repeat this process. Instead of struggling on your own to change yourself, use this technique to remind yourself that it is God who changes and redeems us from the inside out.
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