thesoulpurposedotorg

It is Christmas Eve and all is well with my soul. Life has begun to flow easily for me, not so much struggle, far more grace. It wasn’t always this way.As I reflect on how I got to this place, I remember one very wise counselor who told me at age 24 to “lean into the pain.” There were layers of things for me to lean into with each episode of despair. Sometimes it would take months or years of facing myself, seeing the dark stuff, braving the fear, tolerating the anxiety, riding the pain like a wave, not knowing it would come to an end. And then I’d have a grand “ah-ha!” Once I could see whatever truth there was for me to see, I could not shut my eyes to it again. But always a struggle – I have not gone gently through this life. I’ve wrestled and questioned and fought back and wondered and resented and wanted to understand the mysteries, fascinated with the paradoxes, the contradictions, the messiness of it all.

It is counter-intuitive to lean into pain. I have a physical pain disorder and I can give strong witness to the difficulty of leaning into the pain, relaxing into it rather than running from it or becoming bitter. The Incarnation of Jesus Christ is above all to me, God leaning into our pain – diving into human misery and despair, living it with us, fully embracing our limited sight, our inability to sense the generosity of the universal joy that sorrounds and supports us. God dives into this all, this messy mix of life, and dives deeply, deeply with us that we might wake up and taste the sweetness of it all.