thesoulpurposedotorg

I was at my sixth silent retreat in four years. Three days of not speaking and only deep listening in prayer. This is the first time I have been able to keep the silence – no calls on my cell phone to the outside world. No attempts at conversation. No taking notes. I got a peek at the depths of God’s love

An older gentleman sat down across from me at luncheon. We acknowledged each others presence with a nod. Small sayings from the lecture portion of the retreat were scattered around the table. We took turns looking at each one.

He began to weep in silence as he read one contrasting the experience of self-acceptance in the light of God’s grace versus the experience of inadequacy, fear, greed and control in the spaces of life called our ego. I watched him weep and wanted to comfort him. The silence required me to only silently expand my heart to him.

After a few moments, he glanced up at me. I don’t know exactly what he saw in my eyes but he wept even more deeply. Then I closed my eyes and began to pray in the silence of my mind, the ancient Prayer of the Heart: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner.”

At first, I was going to pray “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on this man.” But somehow I knew that whatever caused his grief was shared by all humanity. His sin, his grief, his fears were mine as well.

After some time, he rose to leave and as he did, he squeezed my right shoulder. In those brief moments, I experienced a depth of intimacy that I will never forget. If I had been allowed to speak, I would have missed it all.